Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
