wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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