Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
