It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
