READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dicks are not precious.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
