Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
