ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
