People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
