No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
