I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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