I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
