If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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