I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
