can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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