singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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