Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
