I can tuck mytits in my pants
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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