We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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