For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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