so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
