I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
