LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
