yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
