Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
