i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
