If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
