Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
