Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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