You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize