Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
