we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
