Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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