I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pooping to opera.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize