so explain again why im purple
no
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize