Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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