we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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