It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
