Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
