Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My hand turned me down
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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