all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
