We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
