so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
