You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
