my phone needs a breathalizer
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
