Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
