Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
