ugly people sure do ruin things
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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