Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The air was thick with penises
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
