I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
