kristin has been a bad kristin
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
