Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
