i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
