My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
