On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She bit a glass in half.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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