Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
