Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
