i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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