I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize