He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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