come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
